mY GIRL is an amazement, every day she pulls us through. I have had doubts, plenty, but in the end what do they serve? Rhetoric blooming, the Self fades into everything. I will not cast shadows on my love here. i DON’T CARE. GET IT?! Our love is so pure that , shall I spell it out; if as you insinuate you HAVE had affairs r continue to, BIG DEAL; because I am for you. And I trust you implicitly; we have always been for each other. I understand a woman you know
This is my part of the story. I have loved you since we met. I made a point of avoiding exes. I didn’t want to soil what we had. I purposefully became a monogamist. Massively purposefully. Nowadays there is no-one else, at the dinner party last night, no-one.
I am trying to ‘handle’ this decision, because it’s not COOL, that perhaps you should be chasing me down off other women; but I said to you I’d come clean so here is. Once I saw your effigy and was on a terrace with a couple of cool babes, and I posed myself the choice, you or her. And I thought ‘her’. She’s young, hair cut in a bob, slim.
OK, so I faltered like that, FUCK. I would do it if I felt like it. It just happens most young girls here are my clients. ALso, I have a disinterest. I may think I’d fuck a client of 22 and then think better. I may think I’d fuc a 22 year old and then remember you, sorry. OK, this is gay, sorry, I haven’t slept, WHisky addict like you. I admit.
Day after day, we talk, you know me better, I know you, we talk dirty, we talk about our love. We send pics of our privates We wank, me 4 times today to your 24. ok thats a 6:1 ratio. Yes I am sure I want you, yes it’s been cleared above, yes, I have doubts, yes I want to see you, yes, I think and know we can… why, because I feel like you are the ONE. You are my true love, you are the love of my life.
Why am I saying this? DId you think Id had an affair. I would probs have told you in no uncertain terms. The good thing about NOT having had one is that I can always pretend, sink to that level. Why do we need to do that? beats me. I would like to have a completely clean relationship with you. OK, it maybe not cool, but I have navigated a long way since I was deemed cool. Once when I was 18 the other after having seriously lost the plot, when I was 41. Cool means shit to me. If I lose a fizz by making you know i have not cheated on you, so what the fuck. It’s not a game any more? Oh yes, sorry half French, it IS a game, but right now it’s my thing of saying to you: I love you, purely. I have had thoughts I have had doubts but NEVER had sex with anyone since we met. Judge me on that. Today, judge my arse that I told you. you owe me 1. a drink 2. a hat which you failed to eat blended in smoothie
I.111. If you start feeling unworthy I would like to remind you that YOU were the one initiating us. You held on tight, you made this happen partly. HALF. to me you are the cutest girl in Christendom. I adore you. When I feel you with me I tremble. I know your wit, your level, your social whatnot, your class, yes I know your class. I am not impressed or unimpressed you just remind me of the cool women I have met. Also you are so sensitive and you let it show. You have exposed yourself to me, you have been yourself, you have been needy, and I LOVE IT. I want MAXIMUM you. I will never tell you to back off. I want ALL of you, because one day your going to tell me; Daddy can I walk in Paris just me, and I’ll say “Yes, baby, you do that, walk in Luxembourg, and Daddy take care of Willow -Daisy”and then all your overflow, guesss now. Yes, i will have that.
I have been so needy too.
I do not ‘promise \ never to have an affair. That would be contemptuous to Fate almost. It is not anything i am considering because our love is so high. I need not stick my dick in a hole. Call me unsexual, fuck it. You know.
OK, this whole thing puts me vulnerable, ‘et puis quoi après?” on Father’s day I will come clean with you, every year, say the best, worst, the in between. And you are so understanding that you will know you needn’t do the same. DO what you think is right, because right now, this is right for me, and if it fucks our love, which it shouldn’t , for a couple of days, then love is not love. I love you. Never ever doubt yourself with me baby. Never.!!! get it you are so fucking beautiful, inside and out. You are gorgeious, scrumptuous, sexy, mmmmmmmmm, You, come here….. cause I WANT YOU !!!! UHMMMMMMMMM.